And this is my life now

Today, my heart hurts, because I miss my home. I miss my comfort and my best friend. I miss my husband.

I've always considered my self a homebody. And HOME, was considered to be here in Tennessee, with my family. All of us, within a five mile radius.

I know now, that HOME is where my husband is. Where ever that is. Where ever the ARMY takes us.

HOME is seeing him smile and hearing him laugh. It's watching him sleep and seeing the sun rise on his face. It's about the random things we talk about before we fall asleep.

My life now consists of looking for boot blousers at 5 a.m. It's about washing pt's and acu's every day and still never being able to get THAT smell out of them. It's about my house being littered with camo, equipment, magazines, and any other army issued article that one could imagine. It's about tripping over combat boots and dodging dirty, smelly socks. It's about FRG and town hall meetings. It's about welcoming soldiers into my home for supper on a moments notice just so they wont have to sit in the B's all night by themselves. It's meeting all sorts of men and women, and having those people become as close as family because they know. Because they understand. It's about meeting new wives and knowing the heart break that they'll inevitably feel. It's the time spent alone while he's in the field, at the range, and in training. It's about the build up's, the let down's and the count down's. The hurry up and wait. It's about the packing up, moving and the see you soon's. It's about deployments that come all to soon and last entirely to long. It's the I love you's and I'm okays that he waits endlessly in line just to get to say. It's about handling things I never thought I'd have to by myself, because he's gone. It's about being grace full and classy. It's about the unimaginable and over whelming pride I feel for my husband. It's about the lessons we learn both together and apart. And taking this time to work on ourselves and our relationship. It's about becoming closer because we dont have time to underestimate or question. It's about being there and being strong because he needs me to be.

It's about being his rock, his sanity, and his safe place. It's about holding it all together while everything falls apart. It's about being strong and being tough. Being a shoulder to lean on and that ear that'll listen. It's about OPSEC and watching my mouth. It's about wishing he were home and being willing to give anything to have him here. It's the countless tears and never ending prayers. It's about sleeping in the shirt he wore the day before he left just because it still smells like him. It's about making sure I have everything he's asked for in his next care package, everything he likes or anything that would remind him of home. It's about the love letters letting him know that he's my whole heart even though he's half way around the world. It's about constantly having my phone in my hand, just in case he calls. It's the never ending worries. Tears cried because I didnt get to hear from him that day. It's about jumping at every knock and ring. It's about not knowing. It's about putting every single ounce of faith that I have in knowing that my GOD is taking care of him, and gonna bring him back home to me. It's about taking a million pictures, just so that he doesn't feel like he's missing everything. It's about going to the end of my rope to do things, just to ensure that they're done so he'll have one less thing to worry about. It's about making plans just to give him something to look forward to.
It's about the homecoming. The butterflies. That first kiss and hug.
And mainly, its about him. My home. 
My life and my whole heart. 
God gave this man to me for a reason and a purpose. And I'm not sure I'll ever be able to thank him enough.