So. I've been fighting this battle...and i've kept it pretty bottled up until now.

Mainly because I have no one to talk to and then again, I just didn't know what to say.

I love my husband. I truly do. 

But I am not sure that we are meant to be together forever.

Dang....that was harder than I thought to say it out loud.

There are times when I really and truly have to bite my tounge with him.

Because I would honestly tell him to go to hell if I didn't.

.

I've been wresting with the fear that I will never have children.

After tonight, I know why.

My husband isn't ready to be a day-to-day father.

Yes, he has a son that he never sees, but it's different.

I swear if my child ever cried, and he got mad....I'd punch him in the face.

LOL...yeah i'm not ready to be a mom either.

It seems as if since he has been home we have been on the brink of divorce.

Literally.

I saw a lawyer.

And it hurts because I love him so much.

With everything I have.

BUT I cannot handle being torn down, made fun of and being put second.

NOT ANYMORE.

I'm strong. I'm independent. I'm smart.

Funny. Charming. Beautiful. Talented....

and so many more things.

I won't be with a man who doesn't think likewise.

"Too good to be true, like diamonds on the soles of my shoes

Like money falling outta the blue, don't be fooled

He ain't nothing but too good to be real

Don't believe the way he's making you feel

He'll break your pretty little heart in two

Momma told me 'bout boys like you, too good to be true"